I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
