youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
