Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
