Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
