So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
