Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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