I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
