Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
