Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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