I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
