Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize