I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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