Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
