so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
