other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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