There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The uberlube is also flammable
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
