yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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