ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
