And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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