I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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