It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
