I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
being pregnant is like rehab
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
