A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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