You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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