You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
