So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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