Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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