remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize