Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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