God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
