I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
