you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize