he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
