so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
