I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
