The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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