Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
