i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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