id be glad to
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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