The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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