the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
