do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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