I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
