i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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