Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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