But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Enjoy the penises
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
