Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
God I need to hump something, right now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
