She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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