Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize