i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
