you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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