You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i think i have two assholes
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
