im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
