If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
