Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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