this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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