dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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