p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
