So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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