Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
