We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
