i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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