I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
